About a Boy by Nick Hornby is actually a novel about two boys. One is 12 years old, the other is 36. And I really love this book.
Nick Hornby is by far one of my most favorite authors. If you have never read any of his books, I strongly suggest that you run out and do so as soon as possible. He has a terrible and amazing way of making me feel as though he is writing these stories for me.
About a Boy is obviously about a boy, but it is also about so much more. I’m a sucker for coming of age stories, and this book is a double whammy. Will is a 36 year old bachelor who has never done anything significant with his life and is trying to figure out the best way possible to keep himself in the same situation forever. Shortly after figuring out that he has a much better chance at no-strings-attached sex with single moms than he does with young women who are looking to become moms in the future, Will decides to invent another life for himself. He makes up a child and starts to attend meetings for single parents, in order to meet women. After a few meetings he meets Marcus. Marcus is a very awkward 12 year old boy who is going through a lot of changes that he doesn’t even realize are happening. Marcus is sort of stuck in his mother’s world. She is constantly trying to teach Marcus to think for himself, but in the process she has taught him that it’s only ok to think the way that she does. Will is the most unlikely character to enter Marcus’ and Fiona’s life, but he is just what the two of them need. Will and Marcus change each others lives over the course of a year or so and they essentially trade places by the end of the book.
This is definitely not a love story or a romance novel. This book deals with friendship, lying (and the consequences!), suicide, depression, and single parenting. It also deals with living with a single parent. Part of the genius of this book is that you are hearing the story from two different perspectives. Every chapter alternates between Will’s perspective and Marcus’ perspective. Every situation is described in the way that Will sees it, then the way that Marcus sees it (and Vice Versa). It is absolutely beautiful and well planned.
Also, if you like Nirvana, you should definitely read this book. Especially if you were too young when Kurt died to really know what was going on.
Altogether, I give About a Boy 5 out of 5 stars. It will make you laugh out loud and then it will make you shed real tears.
If you have read this book already or you decide to go out and read it, tell me what you think. And if you want to borrow it, let me know!
A few of my favorite quotes:
“… Marcus was enjoying the conversation. It seemed big, as though you could walk around it and see different things, and that never happened when you talked to kids normally.”
“It wasn’t easy, floating on the surface of everything: it took skill and nerve and when people told you that they were thinking of taking their own life, you could feel yourself being dragged under with them. Keeping your head above water was what it was all about, Will reckoned. That was what it was all about for everyone, but those who had reasons for living, jobs and relationships and pets, their heads were a long way from the surface anyway. They were wading in the shallow end, and only a bizarre accident, a freak wave from the wave machine, was going to sink them. But Will was struggling… He needed someone buoyant to hang on to; he certainly didn’t need a dead weight like Fiona.”
“Life was, after all, like air. Will could have no doubt about that anymore. There seemed to be no way of keeping it out, or at a distance, and all he could do for the moment was live it and breathe it. How people managed to draw it down into their lungs without choking was a mystery to him: it was full of bits. This was air you could almost chew.”
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A book challenge
Yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to spend the entire day on the computer. So I organized my bookshelf instead :)
The last time I moved, I realized that I own a lot of books that I haven’t read yet. This is a big problem that I have. So often, I buy books without the intention of going directly home and reading them. The result: 55 books on my shelf that I have yet to read. Okay, so really there are only 48 that I haven’t read yet. There are seven books on my shelf that I have read before, just not the copies that are on my shelf. You see, I tend to see books at garage sales, or second hand stores that I know I have read before and loved. Mostly, I think I buy them with the intention of making someone else read them (mainly, my husband… but I think that’s a lost cause at this point!). But many of them I haven’t read since I was a child, or I read them for school so I was never really able to enjoy them for what they are.
So I'm challenging myself to read all of these books before I buy another one. I even sat down yesterday and made an actual chronological list. The break down is something like this:
31 fiction books
10 classic fiction books
14 nonfiction books
So I'm ordering them in this way:
Fiction
Nonfiction
Fiction
Classic
Until I run out of classics. Then I will just alternate fiction and nonfiction until I'm done. There will be about 6 fiction books to read in a row at the end of it all, which really doesn't bother me a bit!
So there are 55 books on my reading list as of right now. The best part? I no longer have to worry about school books permeating my list! I have a list of 55 books that I actually want to read. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about reading since middle school! Although, it is sort of a daunting task. If I read a book a week, this will take me a little more than a year. This challenge means resisting stacks of books at garage sales, not spending weekend afternoons at bookstores, and completely ignoring all of the wonderful Barnes and Noble coupons that I receive in the mail for an entire year. Ah jeez, I hope I can make it through.
But hopefully it won’t actually take me that long. Many of the books are less than 300 pages. Some of them are less than 200 which won’t take long at all. Unfortunately, Don Quixote is on the list, which is 1050 pages long.
Right now I’m almost finished with my first book: About a Boy by Nick Hornby. I’ll let you know what I think when I am done!
The last time I moved, I realized that I own a lot of books that I haven’t read yet. This is a big problem that I have. So often, I buy books without the intention of going directly home and reading them. The result: 55 books on my shelf that I have yet to read. Okay, so really there are only 48 that I haven’t read yet. There are seven books on my shelf that I have read before, just not the copies that are on my shelf. You see, I tend to see books at garage sales, or second hand stores that I know I have read before and loved. Mostly, I think I buy them with the intention of making someone else read them (mainly, my husband… but I think that’s a lost cause at this point!). But many of them I haven’t read since I was a child, or I read them for school so I was never really able to enjoy them for what they are.
So I'm challenging myself to read all of these books before I buy another one. I even sat down yesterday and made an actual chronological list. The break down is something like this:
31 fiction books
10 classic fiction books
14 nonfiction books
So I'm ordering them in this way:
Fiction
Nonfiction
Fiction
Classic
Until I run out of classics. Then I will just alternate fiction and nonfiction until I'm done. There will be about 6 fiction books to read in a row at the end of it all, which really doesn't bother me a bit!
So there are 55 books on my reading list as of right now. The best part? I no longer have to worry about school books permeating my list! I have a list of 55 books that I actually want to read. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about reading since middle school! Although, it is sort of a daunting task. If I read a book a week, this will take me a little more than a year. This challenge means resisting stacks of books at garage sales, not spending weekend afternoons at bookstores, and completely ignoring all of the wonderful Barnes and Noble coupons that I receive in the mail for an entire year. Ah jeez, I hope I can make it through.
But hopefully it won’t actually take me that long. Many of the books are less than 300 pages. Some of them are less than 200 which won’t take long at all. Unfortunately, Don Quixote is on the list, which is 1050 pages long.
Right now I’m almost finished with my first book: About a Boy by Nick Hornby. I’ll let you know what I think when I am done!
How'd you like to be alone and drowning?
Most of my days are spent in bed, with a computer on my lap. I really have no reason to crawl out of bed on most days. In fact, it is now 11:00 and the only reason I am even contemplating putting my feet on the carpet for the first time today is because my stomach is starting to rumble. It’s easier when I have a project. It would be easier if I had a reason. But since most jobs prefer me to apply online, all of my friends are either at work or school, and I am officially, desperately and humbly broke… I think I’ll just stay in bed.
I think if I had a gym membership, I would go to the gym. Or if my community had a sidewalk, I would go for a bike ride. Or maybe if I had a couch, I would at least go and sit on that. But for now I’ll just prop myself up on 3 pillows and lean against the wall in bed.
But, as you can imagine, life gets a little boring in bed. Every day I spend at least an hour applying to jobs. Then the rest of the day feels as though I’m just waiting on the phone to ring. I wake up around eight because I know that’s when the phone calls should start pouring in. Then from 11 to 12 I’m waiting for my husband to call on his lunch break. And then there is, of course, the infamous call from my father anywhere from 4 to 6. He simply can’t drive home without talking to someone! The only time I feel halfway motivated to climb out of bed is within the hour before my husband comes home. It’s at about 2 o’clock that I realize that a certain part of the house is a mess and Ryan would really appreciate it if I cleaned it up. But most days I don’t even do that. I just mess around on the internet until he gets home and then I feel infinitely guilty about it.
My husband has been convinced for awhile that the reason I never get anything done around the house is that I’m addicted to the internet. I don’t think that’s the reason at all. In fact, I’m positive that if I didn’t have the internet, I would still find a reason to stay in bed. Books, or video games, or movies. In fact, all of those reasons sound much more interesting than what I do all day anyway. The funny thing is, I feel guilty when I’m not checking my email every hour for replies on job applications. I feel guilty when I don’t spend at least an hour every day applying for jobs. I feel guilty when I’m reading, or writing, or playing games when I could be figuring out the best way to present myself in an interview, or the best information to include in my cover letter. And I watch stupid youtube videos and roam facebook to fill in the gaps.
Basically, I feel like my life is wasting away and there is nothing I can do about it until I start making money and stop worrying about finding the perfect job. I’m going to get my act together this week and stop wasting away in bed.
I think if I had a gym membership, I would go to the gym. Or if my community had a sidewalk, I would go for a bike ride. Or maybe if I had a couch, I would at least go and sit on that. But for now I’ll just prop myself up on 3 pillows and lean against the wall in bed.
But, as you can imagine, life gets a little boring in bed. Every day I spend at least an hour applying to jobs. Then the rest of the day feels as though I’m just waiting on the phone to ring. I wake up around eight because I know that’s when the phone calls should start pouring in. Then from 11 to 12 I’m waiting for my husband to call on his lunch break. And then there is, of course, the infamous call from my father anywhere from 4 to 6. He simply can’t drive home without talking to someone! The only time I feel halfway motivated to climb out of bed is within the hour before my husband comes home. It’s at about 2 o’clock that I realize that a certain part of the house is a mess and Ryan would really appreciate it if I cleaned it up. But most days I don’t even do that. I just mess around on the internet until he gets home and then I feel infinitely guilty about it.
My husband has been convinced for awhile that the reason I never get anything done around the house is that I’m addicted to the internet. I don’t think that’s the reason at all. In fact, I’m positive that if I didn’t have the internet, I would still find a reason to stay in bed. Books, or video games, or movies. In fact, all of those reasons sound much more interesting than what I do all day anyway. The funny thing is, I feel guilty when I’m not checking my email every hour for replies on job applications. I feel guilty when I don’t spend at least an hour every day applying for jobs. I feel guilty when I’m reading, or writing, or playing games when I could be figuring out the best way to present myself in an interview, or the best information to include in my cover letter. And I watch stupid youtube videos and roam facebook to fill in the gaps.
Basically, I feel like my life is wasting away and there is nothing I can do about it until I start making money and stop worrying about finding the perfect job. I’m going to get my act together this week and stop wasting away in bed.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I have no fear of drowning, it's the breathing that's taking all this work.
I can’t seem to go to bed tonight. I just don’t feel like it. I type so fast but think so slow. There is so much going on lately that I don’t know where to start. If I could just find a job I like, life might settle down a little.
I’ve been thinking so much lately about what I really want to do. I have been told for so many years that it doesn’t really matter what degree I have, a degree at all would make me more important to any organization. That was a lie. So maybe I should have earned a degree in a field that I love more. I love accounting, but over the last 22 years I have been so interested in so many other things. I wanted to be a teacher for years, but let the salary range talk me out of it. I wish I hadn’t. I let money rule my life so often. It seems to make all decisions for me. It decides where I live, what I want to be, who I want to be. And soon it will run my career. It will be all that I deal with. I miss the days when life wasn’t about money. My entire college education was learning about how to make, inspire, and maintain money. The last four years were stuffed full of dollar signs and decimals. I miss reading books with the intent of analyzing every word. I miss doing stuff that doesn’t either suck money out of me, or have the intention of making money for me (or someone else for that matter!).
I miss the theatre. Both taking part in it and just simply sitting in the audience. I miss listening to music without the intention of motivating. There was a time when I would lay in bed with my headphones all day long. Now, I seem to only put music on when I have a task at hand. I miss numbers without dollar signs. Geometry and calculus and physics. I was never very good at the latter but I had so much fun trying to figure it out.
Lately, the occupation that I keep coming back to is this: a mother. Some days I long to be able to be a housewife and a stay-at-home mom. I have always wanted to be a mother. I love my nieces and nephews so much that, some days, I feel like my heart will burst if I don’t see them right away. But most of them are so far away. I long for children of my own. I know I should wait a few years (and I will!) but I don’t want to. I was born to be a mother and I have had some awesome examples in my life. If I could choose a career today, it would be “mom”. But I know well that all outstanding careers require years of training, hard work, and preparation. I am looking forward to the growth of my marriage and our growth as people and parents. I believe I can’t sleep because I’m not sure of the future. And it seems as though there are many sleepless nights ahead of me.
I’ve been thinking so much lately about what I really want to do. I have been told for so many years that it doesn’t really matter what degree I have, a degree at all would make me more important to any organization. That was a lie. So maybe I should have earned a degree in a field that I love more. I love accounting, but over the last 22 years I have been so interested in so many other things. I wanted to be a teacher for years, but let the salary range talk me out of it. I wish I hadn’t. I let money rule my life so often. It seems to make all decisions for me. It decides where I live, what I want to be, who I want to be. And soon it will run my career. It will be all that I deal with. I miss the days when life wasn’t about money. My entire college education was learning about how to make, inspire, and maintain money. The last four years were stuffed full of dollar signs and decimals. I miss reading books with the intent of analyzing every word. I miss doing stuff that doesn’t either suck money out of me, or have the intention of making money for me (or someone else for that matter!).
I miss the theatre. Both taking part in it and just simply sitting in the audience. I miss listening to music without the intention of motivating. There was a time when I would lay in bed with my headphones all day long. Now, I seem to only put music on when I have a task at hand. I miss numbers without dollar signs. Geometry and calculus and physics. I was never very good at the latter but I had so much fun trying to figure it out.
Lately, the occupation that I keep coming back to is this: a mother. Some days I long to be able to be a housewife and a stay-at-home mom. I have always wanted to be a mother. I love my nieces and nephews so much that, some days, I feel like my heart will burst if I don’t see them right away. But most of them are so far away. I long for children of my own. I know I should wait a few years (and I will!) but I don’t want to. I was born to be a mother and I have had some awesome examples in my life. If I could choose a career today, it would be “mom”. But I know well that all outstanding careers require years of training, hard work, and preparation. I am looking forward to the growth of my marriage and our growth as people and parents. I believe I can’t sleep because I’m not sure of the future. And it seems as though there are many sleepless nights ahead of me.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A not so happy blog
My name is Dena and I’m depressed.
*Hi Dena*
That’s the first step right? Of course, I haven’t had this confirmed by an official doctor. But do you think I don’t know the symptoms? That I haven’t seen the commercials or listened to every single one of my overly diagnosed friends?
I attended a mental health day at my college once. A friend and I went for the free food during a break in classes. Unfortunately, in order to obtain the food, we had to do the mental health evaluation. We gathered the respective papers and borrowed the smiley face pens in hopes of at least winning a mood ring. We didn’t. We sat down and decided to fill out the papers together. How embarrassing! I proceeded to find out that most of the thoughts and feelings I have aren’t just normal thoughts and feelings. According to the counselor there I have a “high risk of depression”. Who knew? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not crazy and I’m not suicidal. I just have some pretty uncontrollable thoughts and moods. And as a side effect, I tend to be a bit of a downer sometimes. Unfortunate but true.
So my Grandmother has been talking to me about starting a blog. She started one a short while ago and it is amazing (check her out!). She has actually been so excited about this newfound passion that I think she has asked all of her grandchildren to start one (and there are 10 of us, not counting spouses!). One of my awesome cousins actually did start one and it’s pretty awesome as well (check her out too!) At a recent family gathering we were all sitting around talking about this.
The reason I haven’t started a blog yet, is because I was so worried about it not being happy. I love my grandmother’s awesome blog because it is so uplifting and fun to read. My Aunt Annette brought up that she would like to write a blog as well, but she is afraid that it would be too depressing.
So after weeks and weeks of thinking about it, here I am. After hearing my Aunt’s thoughts on starting a blog I started to think… Happy blogs are nice, but what about the rest of us out there? Those of us who need to know that there is someone else out there who is feeling exactly the way we are right now. That we aren’t strange, we aren’t weirdos, and (most importantly) we aren’t alone.
I don’t really plan on filling this blog with depressing posts. My life really isn’t bad at all. I have a wonderful husband and an amazing family. I have 6 gorgeous nieces and 3 awesomely handsome nephews with another one on the way. Not to mention the amazing extended family of aunts and uncles and cousins and baby cousins (second cousins? I don’t know!). In fact, my life is pretty awesome and I love living in the moments when I can fully realize that. But the fact is that most of the time I don’t feel happy.
Also, I just want to point out that I do not want this to turn into or look like a pity party. I am not, at all, looking for someone to tell me that everything is going to be ok or to remind me of all of the awesome things in my life. Sometimes I feel (and write) like I can see no end to the despair, but really, deep down inside I know that my life is wonderful. One of the main reasons I have always loved to share my writing is because people tend to identify with it. What I am looking to hear is that you feel the same sometimes or maybe that you know how I feel. I want to hear that I’m not alone… I don’t want to hear that there are people somewhere out in the universe waiting for me to be happy. Because I’m pretty sure that they will be waiting a long, long time.
P.S. I’m pretty sure the writing will get better soon as well. It’s 3 AM and my alarm will be going off in an hour and a half!
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