UN staff killed in Afghanistan over an American's ignorance.

Today this feels difficult because there are too many topics I want to write about. Not the least of which is talking about the killing of U.N. staff members over the burning of the Quran. I am outraged over the fact that the preacher who pulled the stunt actually burned the book after being begged not to by many U.S. citizens and even the president of the United States. And I am outraged that the burning of a book caused such uproar. But the Quran is not a simple book to many people (although you could argue that this particular one was just a copy of a copy of a copy and the fact that the preacher had to purchase this book from somewhere was probably more of a support to the religion than anything). In fact Islam is the second most widely accepted religion in the world (right after Christianity). So why do we have to fight?

I don’t mean to bash the wars and I don’t even want to get into 9-11. There are radicals in every religion, including Christianity. I don’t think I have the strength to talk about those people. And I don’t want to get into the similarities and differences between Christianity and Islam, but I will encourage you to take a class before you pass judgment.

What I do mean to say is this: Why can’t was just have respect for each others beliefs? This preacher pulled this stunt because he wanted the kind of reaction that he received. Everyone knows his name, and his church and he proved his little point that “Islam is evil.” But we all know that not all Muslims are like that. I have worked with and for many Islamic people and the people I know are lovely. They are definitely the best customers I have ever had. But we are only going to hear about the bad ones. I fear the same goes for Christians. Who cares about all of the good works we are doing when there are preachers out there burning holy books and priests molesting children?

I just wish we could remember that the actions of some do not represent all. I truly feel as though that preacher has the blood on his hands of those people murdered on Friday.

Yes, this is America and we have free speech. We can say whatever and peacefully protest however we like and we do not have to suffer the consequences of our government. I am eternally grateful for that. But we do have to suffer the consequences of our peers and our God. And for that reason I think we should have respect in everything we do.

P.S. If you do not know what I am talking about, here is a link to an article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42376051/ns/world_news-south_and_central_asia/

6WS, 3 goals, and respectful discussion :)

Today I am linking up with Show My Face today for Six Word Saturday



Today we will go shopping, yay!

Just before bed last night we set three goals for today:
1. Get up early, hit the garage sales.
2. Track down a store with a 3DS on display and check it out.
3. Go to the grocery store.

Well, number one was a failure as we did not roll out of bed until almost eleven o’clock. We ate some toaster waffles and enjoyed them immensely. I love Saturdays because we are able to sit and enjoy our breakfast (even if we do eat it at lunch time). We are pretty sure that Best Buy has a 3DS display so goal number two is well underway. The grocery store… well, that might have to wait a couple of days! I would just like to enjoy this day if possible!

So I have been thinking a lot about topics for this blog. I sat down yesterday and tried to come up with 30 things I could write about this month. I came up with about 20 altogether but I’m not sure if I’ll even get close to writing about all of those topics. Those of you that know me know that I have very strong emotions towards certain things. Sometimes I am perplexed by people and their ability to not feel so strongly. So often in my life I am overcome with feelings of love and admiration that I might just reach out and hug or kiss a person. These powerful emotions aren’t always good ones, though. I am very often overcome by anger, hatred, and guilt as well. Sometimes these feelings make me write things that I don’t often really mean, or at least that I don’t really want other people to know that I am thinking. The fear of people knowing what I’m thinking is why I stopped writing in the first place. Many years ago I had a blog that I wrote in very often. It was completely anonymous, and life is so much easier to live when you can do it anonymously. But as soon as people in my real life found that blog I could no longer get myself to write in it anymore. I knew there were certain people I couldn’t talk about or certain feelings I couldn’t really share. So I lost an outlet. I lost the ability to get my feelings out on paper (err, computer screen) and share those feelings with others. So here I am trying to find the balance. Who knows what will come of it? I hope that those of you reading will not take offense to anything that I say in the next month. In fact, I encourage you to tell me whether or not you disagree with me. I know that my opinions very often differ from those who are close to me, especially politically. I am open to respectful discussion. I love to hear others opinions as much as I love to share my own.

Well, now that it is officially afternoon I am off to start this beautiful day. The sun is out and my daisies are starting to grow. Maybe we will buy some patio furniture today so that we can enjoy the weather more often. I know it won’t last long here in crazy weathered Oklahoma. I love you all. Thanks for reading.

BEDA

March was an exciting month for us and April carries its own eccentricities. I just love spring and the business it brings. We will be planting flowers and doing yard work, going to birthday parties and baby showers, and just to add something else to the list I will officially be participating in BEDA (Blog Every Day April) this year. A busy Dena is a happy Dena! I am looking forward to embracing the idea that there is something to say every single day of my life. There is always something to be thankful for, or at least there is always something to take note of. I hope you will join me!

Today we are preparing for the weekend. It has been a long work week and we are just as exhausted as our feet say we are. What will we do tonight? Maybe we will go see a movie and eat some sushi. We love to go to the Moore Warren Theatre and have a chocolate soda before the show. Do you know how long it took me to find a decent chocolate soda in this part of the state? I walked in to many ice cream parlors and received many impolite stares that simply said “You’re crazy”. I was starting to believe that it was a treat I had dreamed up in my head and no one else had any idea what I was talking about! I was so excited when I saw my favorite movie theatre made them at their concession stand.

Well, I’m off to live my beautiful life with my beautiful husband. I hope your day was as wonderful as mine was!

Ayezlyn

This is Miss Ayezlyn. Her first birthday was this week so we spent the day celebrating yesterday. She is a good little baby. We don't get to see her very often because she, her parents and her sisters live in Tulsa, which is a two hour drive from our house. Ayezlyn is my husbands' little sister's baby girl. My husband's sister, Erin, is a great mom. The first time I met her she was pregnant with her daughter Makayla and I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever met. It's a lot of fun to watch her interact with her three girls.



Aren't they beautiful? We went to dinner after the party and the two oldest girls, Jaida and Makayla, wanted to ride home with Uncle Ryan and Aunt Dena. They sat in the backseat and asked us questions like "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and Ryan and I just stared at each other. That is such an easy question to answer for those little girls, so full of hopes and dreams and ambition. While Ryan and I are half grown and still have no idea what the idea of being "grown ups" really means.

Jaida is going to be a singer when she grows up. She is in the choir at church and loves to sing. She is eleven and starting to act and feel like a teenager. I wish she would hold out a few more years.

Makayla is six. She is going to be an artist when she grows up. Or a singer. She would also like to be a mom. She loves her sisters, her cousins, and especially her Nana.

Sitting in the backseat Makayla asked "Dena, how old are you?"
"I am 23 years old" I responded.
She paused for a moment, crossed her arms and said,
"Ha! My Nana is older than you!"

:)

I love those girls.

Cameron

This is little Cameron. Isn’t he beautiful? He is my newest nephew. I have been looking forward to his arrival for a very long time now. My sister had her first child in 2002. Jenna was the first niece I ever had (though, she’s not the oldest, anymore). And Cameron won’t be the youngest for long. My brother’s wife is due any day now with their second child, Weston. It is so fun to see my family growing. And the best part is watching the joy on parents’ faces when they get to see their grandchildren. I can’t wait to see them overjoyed to watch my kids run and play. We still have a few years ‘til that day comes, though. Here is Cameron with his big sis, Jenna.






Jenna was so excited to find out she was going to be a big sister. She had been begging her mom for years for a little sister. Before the ultrasound that showed Cameron as a little boy, my husband and I would pick on the poor girl. She would fight us so hard. She was determined that the baby was a girl, and we would not convince her otherwise! But she was just as excited when we found out he was a boy. And now that he’s here, I have never seen her act so lovingly toward another child (which is really saying something! She is one of the sweetest, most loving kids I have ever known).

What else can I say about Cameron? He is a little over a week old now and I have yet to kiss his little face. I came down with a virus the day before he was born and even though I was fever free after he got here, I was so careful to not touch his face and to always wear a mask around him. Hubby and I are preparing to go see him now. I cannot wait to kiss his sweet little face and whisper how much I love him in his ear!

I have waited so long for his arrival, it almost seems as though he cannot be real. My sister and her husband had tried for quite a while to get him here. It’s so strange to think that he was such a vague notion nine months ago. We were so excited to meet him, but we had no idea who he would be then. Now that he’s here and we can hold him and love him, it’s hard to imagine life without him. And he’s not even two weeks old yet. I can’t wait to see who he will grow up to be. Will he be a musician, like his daddy? Or a writer, like his mommy? Or maybe he will be a dancer like his sister. Or a farmer like his Pop. Maybe he will blow us all away with the things he will be. Maybe he will be nothing like the rest of us, and that will be ok. We love him, and he will love us. And that’s all that matters in this entire world.

I want to...

It has been over a year since I have blogged. I want to write more. In fact, I want to do so much more. I have been working hard this year to achieve my goals and realize my self worth. It has been hard and I have not made much progress. But this year, I vow to not give up.

For starters:

I want to write more.
I want to get out of the teller line.
I want to take better care of my husband.
I want to read more.
I want to lose weight.
I want to figure out a way to be my own boss.
I want to spend more time with my family.
I want to save more money.
I want to make more stuff.
I want to be better at keeping my house clean.
I want to be more assertive.

I want I want I want.

But really? It just feels good to “want to” again.

Grandma P.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the worst day of my life. It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years already, but it’s also hard to believe that I had 12 years of her in my life. Ten years ago today I was having lunch at school with my best friends when I was called to the office. My mom was standing near the door, signing me out of school for the day. I was excited to be leaving school, hoping that we were about to take an unplanned shopping trip. But when we stepped outside I knew otherwise. I saw my sister sitting in the car, her eyes red. Mom hugged me and whispered in my ear: “Grandma Pettijohn passed away this morning.”

You see, my Grandma was only 65 when she passed away. I was 12 at the time and I didn’t realize then that 65 isn’t old. She was a beautiful, amazing woman that I miss and think about every time I look at my bookshelf, every time I play a memory game, and every day when I put milk and sugar in my coffee. I was so young when she passed away. I really had no idea back then how important my family is. And I took her for granted. I remember these little things about her. I remember drinking coffee with her, I remember her painting my nails, I remember reading books with her, I remember playing memory games with her, I remember watching Wheel of Fortune with her. But I don’t really remember who she was. No matter how hard I try to imagine the way she would feel or act around me now, I simply can’t. I don’t remember how she talked, I don’t remember her voice, I don’t remember HER. I never had the time to really get to know her and it breaks my heart.

And it makes me so angry.

The fact is that her death could have been avoided. She smoked for most of her life and she ended up dying because her heart wasn’t getting enough oxygen pumped to it. I hate that I am so angry with her about this, but I can’t help it. How could she sacrifice getting to see her grandchildren get married and have babies, just for a few minutes of relief from a cigarette each day? She didn’t even get to see us graduate high school. She didn’t even get to see me and two of my cousins graduate from middle school. She has three great grandkids now and she never got to meet any of them. And they’ll never be able to know her. I know she didn’t mean to, and I know she tried to quit. I just wish she had tried harder. And I wish I could stop being so angry about it.

I don’t want my grandchildren to be angry with me because they never had the time to get to know me. When I die, I don’t want anyone to have cause to be angry about it. I want to be old and in pain and immovable and I want to have time to tell my kids and grandkids goodbye one last time. I want to meet my great grandkids.

So you’ll never catch me taking a drag off of anyone’s cigarette.

And you’ll be seeing a much more healthy me over the next few years.